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Flying with Anxiety

Recently, we went to California for a wedding. And I was terrified. When I say that I was terrified, I don't mean a deer-in-the-headlights, I mean that I shook; my stomach twisted and turned; my eyes stayed wide-open at night as my mind raced and my mouth watered in a rotten way. I spent four months in agony. Whenever I wasn't thinking about work, school, this blog, or the few things that kept my head above water in other parts of my life, I was thinking about this flight.

I can't tell you where my terror came from, but come it did. And it enveloped me whole. The anxiety came in waves and at times I could breath and at others I seemed to drown in it. I knew that I had to go through with it though and after months of struggling with this horror, I was finally able to find a few things that helped.

I'm not sure what changed, but all of a sudden, I was able to think of things other than flying. I was able relax a teeny bit and when I thought I flying, I didn't get the sudden urge to run away from my fear, but I had a calm feeling in the pit of my stomach. A few things had helped me during my flight (along with some prescription medication) and I wanted to share them with some people that may struggle with the same thing. I'm not sure if these will work for other people, but I hope that they do because they sure helped me.

1. Take a math-related distraction with you such as Sudoku or a small workbook of math problems. I was once taught that math helped to force the mind to think of something else by using separate parts of the brain. I can honestly say that this was my saving grace when things got rough. Even though my medication helped, I was still really anxious and while we were taking off, I just focused on Sudoku and it calmed my entire mind.

2. Bring music or your favorite t.v. show. I still own an old iPod (you know, pre-Wifi) and so I was able to watch some episodes of The Office during take-off, which helped. Focusing on things that are funny always help ease my anxiety so I made sure to fill up on those. I also brought some movies to watch on my laptop during the flight.

3. If you can, go with someone who understands your anxiety. Seriously. I pretty much hit the jackpot with David because he is the most patient and loving man I have ever met. During the three months when I was a wreck, David was always by my side to comfort and calm me. He is my breathing safety blanket and so I was extremely fortunate to have him not only on the plane with me, by all the time before that when I spent nights wide awake in fear or minutes that felt like hours because of anxiety.

I know these tips are few and there is a lot of really great advice out there that may help you out. I wanted to share a bit of my personal life on here that I don't normally talk about. Anxiety is a thing that people either completely understand or it makes people look at you like you're insane. I would love to share more about my anxiety and my sixteen year journey (yep, I've been dealing with it since I started having panic attacks at the age of six) with you if you'd like to hear it. I've become more aware over the years the amount of people that share this struggle, and I'd like to add my own story to the mix. Maybe it will help others and maybe you will just be able to understand me more. If you have any tips for flying, leave them in the comments below!

p.s. packing essentials for a carry on.

3 simple budget tips

1. MAKE A BUDGET. I know it seems so simple that it's stupid, but it's easier said than done; It's the most important thing to keep in mind though. The first step is to make a conscious effort to pay attention to where and what you spend your money on. Make realistic goals for important things such as groceries so that you don't keep going over your budget for them and cutting into other things. With that being said, you may have to reevalulate your budgets for things like clothing and/or eating out. These things are not entirely necessary for living and therefore should be approached cautiously.

2. KEEP TRACK OF YOUR BUDGETS. After you make your budgets, make sure to keep track of them so that you know what exactly it is you're really spending. David and I use an app called Mint that is free and super safe (and looks good too). If you don't want to use anything electronic, try keeping a little notebook in your bag or car and make note of when and where you spend money. How much do you really spend on clothes, eating out, hobbies, etc. Obviously these things are important to you, but just keep in mind of where you may want to cut in order to save for important things.

3. OVER BUDGET FOR FLUID BILLS. This may seem like a weird rule to keep in mind, but it's definitely one of my favorite tricks that I use. For bills such as electricity, I always overbudget. I set aside a certain amount of money each pay check that usually ends up adding up to more than I need. With all of the extra, I either put it in my fluid savings or set it aside for something that I've been really wanting (like new earrings). For some reason when I have that extra money left over it ends up being one of the most rewarding feeling.

I hope these tips have helped you a little bit in your everday life! Please keep in mind that I am no expert. These are only my opinions and this is just what works for me. If you have any other tips, tell me though because I love hearing about budgeting!! xoxo

3 simple saving tips

Let me just start off by saying this: I am no expert. This is just what works for me. If you have any other tips, I'd love to hear them (because I love saving money)! These tips aren't really about cutting down on your monthly/yearly bills or anything, they're just about budgeting for your savings and these are the rules I follow for every day saving.

1. Play the Saving Game. David and I play a game each pay period (our pay period is on the same bi-weekly schedule). Whenever we feel like buying something on impulse, we type into our phones what it was that we didn't buy impulsively and add that up each pay period. Whatever it was that we didn't spend, we transfer to our savings account. To make it more fun, we challenge each other and who ever saves the most gets to pick out a movie to watch that Friday night and the loser has to make dinner. (See what we have to do to keep our date nights exciting?)

2. Budget for Saving. On top of our savings game, I always budget for a base saving number. So, for example, I say, "this paycheck, I'm going to put in $50 into my savings account, PLUS whatever I got from the saving game." Depending on the week, I usually end up putting away somewhere between $60 and $100 (this is bi-weekly).

3. Keep a fluid emergency fund & a solid fund. I keep two different savings accounts based on what I need for me now. I have one that is a solid savings that I will use for the future (a wedding, babies, school, etc.). Then, I keep another more fluid savings, which has a little bit less in it. Some people refer to this as a "rainy day fund". This one I can pull money out for an emergency such as a vet bill or if something needs to be fixed on my car. This makes saving a lot easier in my view because if I personally have it all in one, then I feel like I can pull from it at all times, which is a feeling that I want to avoid.

I hope these three simple tips can help you start saving money ASAP!